Hello Group, I wanted to share my "gout life" story update with the rest of you gout sufferers.
My gout attacks are bad. Really nasty, debilitating bad. I have it in my right knee. Once I get that
first 'Zap!' which is like a red hot sword being thrust into the knee, I have a pain for maybe 2-3 hours
that is sufficient to render me screaming, crying and unable do anything besides wanting to die.
For the next 2-5 days, I pretty much can't get out of bed without assistance and can't bear any
weight in the knee or leg. The entire leg from my ankle to my upper thigh can be swollen to almost
twice it's normal size. The pain is still on the verge of being unbearable and I can't really focus or sleep.
At the day 2-20 range, the swelling goes down to perhaps 20-50% above normal and the swelling is
concentrated in the knee down to my ankle. I can put a small amount of weight on the leg while
I'm on crutches. With enough opiates and pain killers, I can focus enough to read for short periods
of time, maybe 2-4 hours at a stretch. The longer I'm sitting up, the worse the swelling and pain,
so I need to lay down frequently which makes the swelling and pain dissipate some. In the past 4
months or so, I've never really 'fully recovered' to the point where I'm symptom free and able to walk,
bend, sit or stand for long periods of time without pain.
So gout is a major component of my life now and I've decided that some things need to change. Actually,
I'm in the process of packing and moving out of state with my girlfriends help. Gout has changed my life.
I know that I'll never be able to hold a "job" until I get my gout attacks under control, and based on recent
experiences, that may never happen. I just can't devote 10+ hours a day to getting ready for work,
commuting (actually it's not safe or even possible to drive when I'm in that first couple of weeks after the zap),
having lunch with associates, sitting behind a desk for 8 hours, stopping off at the dry cleaners on my way
home, etc. I just can't do it. I need to lay down every few hours and elevate my leg. The longer I go without
resting, the worse the pain and swelling. I'm lucky in that the nature of my work is such that as long as I have
a desk, phone and high speed internet connection, I could work from the moon. So, I'm going to do contract/
consulting assignments that are sufficient to pay my bills. I'm moving out of San Diego, and to Idaho. From
one of the highest cost of living areas to one of the lowest. The plan is to simplify my life. Since the cost of
living is sooo much less in Idaho, I don't need to make as much money. And interestingly enough, money
doesn't really matter the way it used to. At this point in my life, I'm into health and getting healthy. You will
be finding me at the gym, the health food store, cooking in my kitchen, hiking in the mountains and desert,
riding my bike, focusing on spiritual pursuits, playing with my dogs, swimming, yoga, etc. It's actually quite
exciting and I feel as if I've found a silver lining to this dreadful condition.
I feel that gout was a wake up call to get my life in order. At 45, I've gone through over 15 years where I was in
the top 1% by income in the USA. But with the exception of being able to date more attractive women, it's
not really made me that much more happy. I'm the most happy when I'm outside in nature. I always have been
my whole life. And I'm often miserable when I'm inside for extended periods of time sitting under fluorescent lights.
Had it not been for gout making it painfully clear that I am absolutely physically unable to hold a job, this revelation
may not have ever struck home and propelled me to make the change. Oddly, I'll bet that by simplifying my life
and cutting back on work by half or more ~ I'll live much longer. Being totally sober is also kind of cool. So many
more hours in the day to do meaningful things. So in the end, gout has not ended my life; it's given me a new
beginning. In an odd way I feel grateful.
If anyone is passing through Southwest Idaho this summer and wants to partake in some of the best white water
river rafting in the world, let me know.
OK, that was a nice break, sorry if it was kinda corny but it's my truth. Back to packing.. fortunately all I have to do
is sort papers as I make the financial changes to make my life as simple as possible.
Peace,
Tom